Love Worth Trusting

As Diana* stood in the restaurant line, a familiar face caught her eye. She knew that man from somewhere—but where? Oh, yes! That was Taj Pacleb, the speaker with nature videos on Facebook. During the difficult years of her marriage, they’d kept her afloat. She waited for each new episode, treasuring the reminders of the God who loved her. She could hardly believe Taj was now standing in the same restaurant line!

Not wanting to be a bothersome fan, Diana quietly found a seat. Moments later, Taj sat down at the next table—and asked her name.

Diana knew this must be a divine appointment, a chance to share how God had walked with her through tragedy and transformed her life with the message of the cross.

Diana grew up in a Sabbath-keeping family. When her teenage sister had a baby, then suffered from severe postpartum depression, 12-year-old Diana stepped in, mothering her new nephew. It was a big job for a young girl, but Diana threw her heart into it. When her sister got better, she struggled to release her role as surrogate mother.

With complicated dynamics at home, school was an escape. Diana worked hard, idolizing academic success. She planned to attend a prestigious university, and it was easy to believe she’d make it.

Diana’s walk with God became personal when she turned 15, and she was baptized. Unfortunately, that same year, the internal pressure to excel at school and the external pressure of family stress collided. Diana imploded. “Every part of me was exhausted,” she says. Slowly, she stopped doing her homework, talking, and eating. Her hands shook so much she couldn’t write. She was hospitalized and diagnosed with PTSD, major depression, and generalized anxiety.

Diana was devastated. Her identity as a successful student had vanished. As Diana recovered, she also had to redefine her self-image. Yet, Diana wouldn’t change a thing: “If it weren’t for that, I wouldn’t know God the way I do,” she shares. “I went to God for healing—and fell in love with Him.”

But during the vulnerable years of her recovery, Diana met an older man. Though she told him she wasn’t interested, he pursued her. “He crossed every boundary I set,” she says. For a time, the attention felt good to her wounded and isolated heart. “I didn’t understand grooming,” Diana explains. Sadly, Diana shares that the man sexually assaulted her. Three days later, reeling from shock and deeply unhappy and confused, Diana married him.

Unfortunately, Diana reports that the emotional abuse continued during the marriage. Sinking into depression, she even contemplated suicide.

During those many dark days, the Reflections of Hope videos Taj posted on Facebook were a small saving grace.

Then her father called. “I want to send you to Weimar’s NEWSTART program as a gift,” he told her. “God was saving my life,” Diana says. Through the healing environment, Diana’s depression lifted, and God gave her new strength. Determined to make her marriage work, Diana sought God in prayer, devoted herself to her marriage, and took her husband to couples’ therapy.

“That last year was the worst yet,” Diana says. “He treated me worse than ever.” After a year, he filed for divorce.

During the upheaval of the divorce, Diana received an email requesting prayer for a girl named Lauren.* Reaching out, Diana realized that Lauren had experienced similar challenges. Diana found new purpose in encouraging Lauren. For a while, her encouragement seemed to help.

When Diana moved away, the two women’s frequent contact naturally diminished. Then, while hospitalized with a severe case of COVID, Diana received the awful news: Lauren had died by suicide.

Gripped by guilt and awash with grief, Diana’s world crumbled. Her past experience with God, which had supported her through a nervous breakdown, carried her through a difficult marriage, and sustained her during the divorce, was now shaken to its core.

“God, are you just? Was I wrong about you? How could a God of love allow all of this to happen?” Diana questioned. She even gave God an ultimatum: “If you don’t give me something to hold onto, I’m done! I’ve lived by faith through so much, but now I need You to talk to me.”

Intending to text her condolences to Lauren’s father, who was a pastor, Diana accidentally made a phone call instead. When she asked him how he was, Pastor Alex* began praising God. Diana was astonished. Diana felt like she had lost everything, and Lauren wasn’t even her daughter. “This is the most powerful sermon you’ve ever preached,” Diana told him.

“It has to be real,” Diana realized. If Pastor Alex could praise God after losing his daughter, he must have found something incredible in his years of faith in Christ. “I wasn’t there yet,” Diana says, but in that moment, she decided that if Pastor Alex could believe, then she could believe.

After that, Diana’s life started turning around. She forgave her ex-husband and experienced a miraculous peace in her soul. She enrolled in college. Most importantly, Diana continued studying her Bible. God spoke to her powerfully through the scene in the garden of Gethsemane, when Jesus prayed the painful cup of death might be removed from Him (Mark 14:33–36). “Jesus didn’t get the answer He wanted,” Diana says. When she was faced with pain and didn’t get the answers she wanted, she had been ready to give up on Christ. But when Jesus didn’t get the answer He wanted, “He ran towards me,” even though it meant dying. Seeing Jesus’ willingness to endure the cross for her transformed Diana’s life.

A year later, Diana found herself sharing a meal and her story with Taj. “I hope my testimony can be a ‘Revelation of Hope’ to someone else who is struggling,” she says. “With all the pain I’ve experienced, there’s no reason I should still be a Christian,” Diana shares—except that the endless love of God kept pursuing her.

Are you in a season of wrestling with God? Has the brokenness of the world challenged your faith in a good and just Father? Perhaps, like Diana, you’ve lived through more than your share of pain and tragedy. Perhaps you, too, are ready to turn your back on faith. To you, Diana says, “When your heart is broken, look at the cross. Know that whatever you go through, a love like that can be trusted.” The God who suffered and died for you will walk with you—no matter what pain you’re facing.

Revelation of Hope exists to share God’s message of hope with the hopeless. Through spirit-filled seminars, powerful imagery, sacred music, and online creative media, our mission is to reach the hurting, the doubting, and the lost. Thank you for helping us spread hope around the globe.

*To preserve privacy, names have been changed.