The Power of Pain

“God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks to us in our conscience, but shouts in our pain. It is His megaphone to rouse a deaf world.” C.S. Lewis

Ten years ago, a motorcycle-related injury sparked my ongoing battle with back pain. I’ve had on-and-off pain since then. However, about six weeks ago, after a long flight, the pain intensified so badly that I had to be brought to the emergency room. My pain level was a whopping 10/10. I was literally crying. I felt a stabbing, shocking, electrifying jolts, shooting up and down my left leg. This led me to seek a spine specialist. They discovered that I had two herniated discs, which was causing nerve impingement. After a thorough assessment, surgery was advised. For six weeks while awaiting the surgery schedule, I suffered in silence. I have never experienced pain as excruciating as this before!

The only physical posture that offered relief for my back pain was lying down and kneeling—looking up and bowing down. I had plenty of time for thinking, reflecting, and enduring. Lying down allowed my body to relax, easing the tension in my back muscles and providing a momentary respite. In this position, I found comfort in gazing upwards. It was a posture of vulnerability, yet also one of surrender, a silent acknowledgment of my limitations.

Kneeling brought a different kind of relief. This position seemed to align my body in a way that alleviated some of the strain on my back. Yet, it was also a symbolic act of humility and reverence. By bowing down, I was humbling myself before God, whose presence is greater than my pain. Kneeling was a physical manifestation of my willingness to accept whatever lessons this suffering might offer. Each moment spent in pain became an opportunity to dive into the depths of my thoughts and seek clarity amidst the chaos.

Pain is a reality we cannot avoid and cannot prevent to a large degree. The only thing we can control is how we respond to it. Pain either turns us in or turns us out—it can either consume us or compel us to connect. Sometimes, pain can be so intense that we tend to focus only on ourselves, and we fail to see a way out. Thus, discouragement, depression, and despair often fall upon us.  

Another way we can respond to pain is to look outside ourselves, and that is what I have chosen to do. This personal suffering has opened my eyes to the pain others endure. It has definitely helped me gain more empathy, and as a result, more aloha, more love, more grace, and less judgment. Through this, I've become more attuned to the struggles of humanity, realizing that many face challenges far beyond my own.

This whole experience is drawing me closer to the Creator who has divine empathy for all. This pain is enabling me to know His infinite heart better. So even though I have so many reasons to be depressed from everything I’ve been through this past year, I am still filled with gratitude for the beautiful gift of life and all of God’s blessings that I do not deserve.

My discectomy took place a couple of days ago, and what was supposedly just an hour-long surgery took almost 3 hours because of the extent of the herniation. But the amazing thing is that the stabbing, shocking, shooting pain is gone! What’s left is the dull pain at the surgical site. This reminds me that sometimes, God has to cut us not to hurt us, but to heal us. I am now standing, walking, and recovering well. There are still some limitations, and I cannot be completely mobile, but the doctor said that I should be able to get my active life back in 4 weeks!

This past year has been one loss after another and we’re not out of it yet. My mom had just been diagnosed with Colon Cancer, Stage 3. The news itself brings me unbearable pain. I can’t imagine life without her. But we leave everything in the hands of Him who knows our suffering firsthand and gives us grace to endure the most bitter heartbreaks.

Often, we are told that we shouldn’t ask God why, because to do so would question His ways…but it’s natural to ask why. Even Jesus asked God the question, “Why have You forsaken Me?” Matthew 27:46

In His most vulnerable moments, Jesus felt that He was abandoned. He felt alone in His suffering.

“But God suffered with His Son. Angels beheld the Savior’s agony…There was silence in heaven. No harp was touched.” The Desire of Ages, p.693

Heaven was silent but Heaven was not deaf. The Father heard. The angels cared.

Even though God allowed Jesus to suffer the full penalty of sin, He suffered with Him.

And even in God’s silence, Jesus sealed His suffering with surrender.

“Father, Into Your hands, I commend my spirit.” Luke 23:46

Even if Jesus didn’t have the answers, He had a place to submit His questions, His pain, and His suffering.

I’m all out of answers, but I’m just trying to trust God. I know He hears my pleas, and He understands my pain.

Sometimes God permits pain because it creates a beautiful revelation of love. The reality of pain has allowed me to see the redemptive power of Jesus. God does not cause pain, but He can use it to recreate and restore us! Perhaps through our suffering, God wants us to recognize that this is the painful reality of living in this world of sin. Perhaps through our pain, God is reminding us that this world is not our home. I’m homesick for heaven. I’m longing for that heavenly home where there is no more pain, sorrow, suffering, and death—a home where we can abide with Jesus forever.

“For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us.” Romans 8:18